I have been aware of this game since 2005, when a former colleague from previous work kept on talking about this game with so much enthusiasm. I wasn’t interested then co’z I know I don’t like guns that much, for me it represents violence and fear. Then early last year, a new colleague at present work introduced this game to us. At first, I’m really scared, not much about on seeing guns (co’z I know these are not real) but the thought of being hit scares me co’z they said it’s still is kinda painful eventhough the bullets are like small plastic pellets called BBs. The very first gamesite we played on was at Metrowalk, Pasig sometime in Feb last year.  There we played with some of our big bosses, after a few tips on safety on playing this game, my colleague Carlo lended me one of his guns then taught me the safety and know-hows to hold it and pull the trigger and play the game. First game scenario, “Defend the Base”, I joined the defend team which is much easier for first timers co’z all you have to do is just fire on those offense team who gets near the base. I felt nervous at first holding a rifle like gun which is too heavy for my frame but firing my first few shots is liberating hehehe! then I fired on automatic mode and there it goes I’m shooting like crazy over our opponents. I was able to hit one opponent on the first game, which is not bad for a first timer ;). Then played a little more on other game scenarios like Protect the VIP, Attack the Base, Detonate the Bomb etc I even played the secret spy Jack Bauer in the Protect the VIP game and it’s so much fun not to reveal yourself as the secret spy and has the ability to betray his team and kill all of them…nah! I didn’t kill my team, co’z you have the choice not to shoot your teammates. After that very first game, some teammates regularly played and even go beyond on buying their BDU (battle uniforms), guns and gears and spent big bucks for these items. How about me?spent only for a camou cap which I bought after I watched the  G.I Joe movie hehehe! felt like a G.I Jane after watching it. Sometimes I play, most of the time not…I only play if most of the girls are playing. It’s only recently that I got hooked in the game, I guess because it has been a long time since we played due to the gun ban during the recent national elections. It was only recently that I bought my very own BDU, it’s a US Woodland design which is a match with someone. I felt more confident now on playing the game and having my own strategy on how to shoot an opponent. This is definitely a great way to bond with friends….so my friends, let’s all shout “Mask-Down!”!:)


As I was reading the “Eclipse” book and hurrying up to finish the book before it hits the big screen…I had this sudden urge to write my thoughts.  I wonder and felt envious of Bella, why?because there are two wonderful men who is so in love with her. I like Jacob, yes because that love came from friendship and he is so hunk and all and loves Bella so deeply….what fascinates me is the love of Edward to Bella. I don’t think I saw any man express their love to their mates the way Edward does. The way he looks at her, and has not ever looked at any women before Bella came into his life. It’s like he is glued to her, like a magnet that keeps on pulling him closer to her everyday, as what it says in the book Bella is like a drug to him, a heroin that gets him addicted to her the more he is close to her. That’s something, that’s love…..which reminds me is there any Edward out in the real world?or a Jacob perhaps?….so loyal, so devoted with their one true love. When can I be a Bella to someone?oh yes, felt love a couple times already but never in the same intense way these characters have felt. Maybe closer, or maybe I’m just dillusional and thought I’m so in love with someone that I almost die feeling the pain of losing them. ..I don’t know really…from what had happened, I’m not sure anymore if  I’m really feeling real love. But one thing is for sure…I’ve always wanted to experience that feeling of love at first sight….the scene where the moment you laid your eyes to him, time stopped, everything looks black and white around you and the only colored image you see is him….and you felt your heart pounding when your two eyes met, glued to each other and feeling that sense of peace, that you know you met your other half, that soulmate that you have been waiting for and that moment completes you….snap! these scenes only happen in movies and novels like the one I’m reading now….but still I’m hoping for that someone….that someone who will color my black and white world…my soulmate….my love at first sight…..someday….I know someday 🙂

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On the verge of making a decision that will put an end to my present career and venture into another one. I’ve been in my present company for quite some time now and so thankful for all the people here who made me realize that there is life after death, that laughing is yes the best medicine to put an end to such miseries. We do laugh a lot at work, co’z I’ve been surrounded by funny people who made serious situations always funny, as some of you may know, our job is soooo stressful that lately I’ve been really thinking if the stress I’m getting here is still worth it. What can I say, these people have played a very big role in my recovery period. It saddens me to think that I’ll be leaving them soon, but I have to make another journey to improve myself and this has been an on-hold decision that should have materialized long ago. Now, it’s time…enough with people distracting me with my goals, slowing me down to make that big leap….and done with all the dramas that complicates my life more, concentrate on people who truly cares and who does love me that much not to hurt me….again and again. I hate goodbyes…but I have to move forward. A lot has already happened for the past weeks and change is the only constant reminder that what has been will never be the same again. I need to make the decision now for time won’t wait for me….but hoping that love will. Oh please guide me……

Yes, the title of my post refers to the word my friend M used to describe me how I managed to breeze through life for almost three years now, on my own…as I was reading the comments here I came across her message and yes, this is the only time that word strucked me…I guess, during the time when she wrote it I was not really feeling pretty then, yeah I survived it but hey, talk about low self-esteem and confidence was all that is showing on my face then….and after more than 2years, I agree I became a pretty survivor *blushing*:)…and a lot has changed since then and people are noticing the difference lately, thank heavens it’s over….but of course, not totally, for I know in time I’ll be dealing with them again to legalize everything…but for the meantime, still enjoying life as it is.

I also noticed this blog was put on hold for quite a long time and it’s time to squeeze out some of my thoughts lately….

Let’s talk about my spiritual journey….this journey helped me so much in becoming the survivor that I am today and taught me to appreciate life more and the people who fought with me in battle…..I’ve learned that it’s not easy to let go of bitterness….it’s never easy even if people will say you can do it and just move on…I guess, those people who easily adviced these are most of the times hasn’t experienced the same or almost the exact pain I went through….it’s not the person anymore, it’s about the wrong that they have done to you and feelings are no longer an issue….I became a warrior, trying to stand up in middle of battle scorned and bloodily bruised, holding on to one thing that I know will shield me from any more blows…and that is my Faith….I fell a couple of times during the recovery period….been distracted too by many factors that tested my beliefs and principles…..and I realized I am a woman in progress….a woman, who amidst the trials and failures still managed to become the person that I am today….still trying to do what is right, sacrificing the one thing that makes her happy….holding on to her little Bible that makes her constant companion in times of confusion…..I know I am still weak and confused…..still trying to understand why things happens to some people and struggling to be a better Christian….this is one journey that I know has no end….for finding spiritual growth is a lifetime to achieve, it takes time for one to mature spiritually….and the good thing about this journey is the Faith and committment that goes along with it…the promise of a lifetime bonding with God….and that what makes life complete 🙂

Below are the different looks of my cutey Bible 🙂

*This is an article a friend shared to me that moved me and I wanna share this to you too*

Forgive, Forget…Move On

At some point in our lives, we have experienced hurt caused by someone dear to us. Although some have found a way to forgive but many of us are still trapped in brokenness and forgiveness seems to be their last resort; let alone cursing and wanting evil to happen to those people who have caused the hurting.

Stop living in brokenness…

Allow yourself to live a life of fullness and happiness. We may think that if we forgive them, it will only let them know that what they have done is acceptable and we don’t hold them guilty anymore. Also, if we have forgiven them, they may see no wrong in what they did and continue hurting us.Some may see this true but this is a false thinking.

Yeah, I know it is never easy. It’s easier said than done. It’s hard to let go and move on with your life. But it’s even harder to forgive, forget what happened and again, move on with your life..

We all have tried to forgive but at times we let our anger dictate our willingness to forgive. Forgiving someone does not mean that you avoid or repress your feelings. On the contrary, it’s important that you acknowledge your pain and loss so that you can express your feelings, get them out into the light of day, and let them run a natural, healing course.Certainly others are to blame for their mistakes, but they are not to blame for our feelings. To forgive is to release another from being responsible for how we feel. By finding forgiveness, we are then free to let go of our pain. We may not forgive them now, but eventually, when the anger is gone, we will. However, that day will never come until we deal with ourselves first.

Better choose to live a happy life and not hate. When you choose not to forgive, you’ll be overwhelmed by your negative emotions and you can’t do anything about that state of emotion.Not only will you harbor resentment and bitterness, but your health will also be greatly affected. Why allow yourself to suffer these consequences when you deserve to live a more fulfilling and happier life after what you had gone through or are still going through?

Realizing that forgiveness is our own personal journey, we release expectations that others will respond to our deeds, even though each person’s healing has positive rippling effects.We don’t hold back. We gently swathe our pain with love. We allow thoughts and feelings to arise into awareness where they are recognized and permitted to pass on through.

When you forgive, you open a door that wasn’t open before. This leads to a field of possibilities for a new kind of relationship with everyone. The healing of your hurts will take place and set you free from your emotional brokenness. This will lead you to a path of emotional freedom and receive untold peace and happiness.

“A winner reprimands and forgives; a loser is too timid to reprimand and too petty to forgive.”

I’m so proud of being a pinoy because of Filipinos like Efren Penaflorida….for giving his unconditional love and support for the youth of this generation….his inspiration and encouragements to these underpriviledged kids gives them hope that they can change the world…that this country is still a better place to live in…May the Lord continue to bless him as he steadfastly do His work….Let’s vote for him kababayans!:)